That Chinese Food Feeling

There's an old joke – or perhaps truth – about eating Chinese food: you feel full after eating, but 20 minutes later you're hungry again. It got me thinking. I often hear an executive or investor presentation, a marketing or sales pitch, or a product plan which sounds great at the time I hear it, but which somehow just isn't satisfying the next day.

Several years ago, I worked with a large software company which was developing a suite of groupware products. The suite was to include email, group scheduling, directory services, document management, workflow and more. Somehow, the VP of the division got the company to fund the development of these products year after year, even though more than eight years – yes, eight years! – later, only a small portion of the suite is complete. How did this happen? Each year, I watched the VP present his vision – an integrated suite of groupware services – to the CEO and an architecture committee. Even though critical questions such as "how, exactly, will the services be integrated?", "will the services be sold separately or as one package?" and "what about client-side integration?" remained unanswered, his presentations were rarely questioned. The VP was extremely technical and through a combination of a certain geeky charm and heavy-handed techno-speak, his presentations were accepted with essentially no "course correction." Each time I heard him give his presentation, it sounded reasonable at the time. Each time, it would unravel in my mind over the following days.

My most recent experience with this phenomena was with an Internet startup based in San Francisco. The company's CEO is a charming, charismatic guy with enough self-confidence for two. I've heard him make the company pitch – to investors and customers alike – perhaps a dozen times. His presentations were consistently well-received. Of course, it helps that he's is a gifted story teller and his presentations are full of clever anecdotes. When describing the primary differentiation between his company's product and those of the competition, he'd use his hands, making one gesture for the competition (no, not that one) and one for his company's product. He'd compare and contrast, using his hands as props throughout.

Each time, I'd get it. Or, at least I'd think I'd get it. So, too, did the investors or customers hearing the pitch. Initially, I felt stupid; after all, everyone else seemed to understand. But, over time, I've talked with others who have also begun to feel that Chinese food feeling and now I'm feeling, well, gypped. And foolish. You see, for months, I had to give the company pitch myself and each time would end up talking about "you know, the thing the CEO does with his hands" or simply "the hand thing." What happened? When he'd say it, it was a beautifully woven tapestry. When I'd say it, it was a pile of tattered yarn slipping through my fingers.

Of course, there are many well-known examples of this phenomena in the Hi Tech industry: popular, charismatic CEOs like Steve Jobs, Kim Polese and Larry Ellison. These people are blessed with the ability to create a reality distortion field. Anything they say can and will impress you. But, except for Ellison's core Oracle business, think hard about what these "visionaries" have done. Jobs continues his proprietary everything approach (Apple, NeXT, Pixar, Apple again). Polese has the world convinced that simple push technology is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Ellison throws hundreds of millions of dollars at a computer with no – no! – local disk. (Hello, Larry, what about the psychology of privacy and "ownership"?!). If some schlep off the street presented these ideas, you'd probably laugh your head off. So, too, would the rest of the world. But, these people are stars, industry icons. They have name brand. And apparently can do no wrong in the not-so-critical eyes of the world.

The lesson through all of this? Beware of the slick pitch man, the confident CEO, the marketer with the gift of gab. If you're making a decision – whether an investment decision, a purchase decision or an employment decision – take the time to digest what's been said. Do it alone. If the story doesn't sound as good when you give it to yourself, something's probably not kosher. Don't invest your money, your time or yourself until and unless you can give the pitch to yourself convincingly. A good story – a one with real merit – sounds good no matter who does the telling.